on journaling

the why, the how, the where & the essentials

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The Set-up

• Leuchtturm1917 hardcover classic notebook, squared (currently in Forest Green)

• Muji smooth gel ink ballpoint pen knock type 0.5 black

The Scope

I started journaling scrupulously when I was thirteen, and was free to spill my guts onto paper in English because I knew my parents wouldn’t understand a word of it (and wouldn’t be bothered to translate it if they ever found my diary). Reading back, I find a lot of lines to laugh about, but also a lot of lines that make me really sad for my younger self. Every page proves a help to better understand myself as I grow older, and I find it quite insightful.

I had a friend in school that would journal during lessons, turning page after page, and I was inspired. I often felt that my brain was on fire, so I bought a thick notebook and wrote down everything, feeling the relief of a lighter brain after each time. Back then, it was about silly love interests, crushes, thoughts about friends and betrayals, about my family, my feelings of isolation, my fears during fights. Going through puberty was a challenge by itself, I can still gather my confusion now.

Not only does journaling prove helpful in a therapeutic way, but I felt that when I was going through heartbreak, I was starting to annoy myself by constantly bringing up my heartache to my friends, and I feared I was starting to annoy them. There had to be another way to get out my feelings without having to be so bloody repetitive. So I turned to paper, and the fun thing about paper is that it can never judge you. Comes to worse, paper can be burned.

I take out a lot on my Notes app on the go, though I do feel I feel more sorted if I write stuff out with pen. The physical aspect of it tires me out, maybe that’s why it works. It’s like screaming in lowercase (very quietly, almost mutely, even).

I pull out my journal in therapy because it’s like I tracked myself. I also use it for some exercises to keep mindful of. It’s good to do this for yourself, even if it’s just to get to know yourself better. There are no rules, I don’t have to write every day, I can just write whenever I feel like it, whenever I’m in need of it. The important thing is it is there when I do need it.

For me, I’ve only had benefits from journaling, which is why I keep at it. There are many different types of journals that you can keep (reading journals, tv + film journals, art journals, everything notebook, …), but I just keep one for my thoughts and feelings, completely in and out of context, titled by my name and a start date, when finished also by an end date.

The Routine

• mornings, right after waking up (morning pages)

• during the day (on public transport, in a café, anywhere I can catch a break for my thoughts)

• at night, before sleep (if I feel like I can’t sleep without putting down my feelings, if too many things are occupying my brain)

• no rules! I don’t write everyday, just when I feel inclined to or am in need of some settling down.

The Inside

Now, I won’t let you read my journals, but I can tell you what I’ve got in them.

• morning pages (after waking up and once my eyes manage to remain open, incoherent sentences after sentences, dumping all my thoughts, fears, goals, anything that comes to mind to clear my head)

• cycle tracker (mood tracker to figure out my phases in my cycle. A lot of women don’t know their phases and their cycle, and when I heard that some women can clearly tell on which days they would ace job interviews, and on which days they can’t expect much energy from themselves, I was intrigued to figure out my phases.)

• monthly goals (if I think about it, I mostly put them into my notes app, though. Writing them down feels like I’m putting them there to manifest.)

• monthly prompts (irregularly, because sometimes nothing is happening but I still like to journal. I either get the prompts from other creators or find them somewhere on Pinterest.)

• notes for therapy (summaries of my life; I see my therapist every 2 weeks and I don’t want to forget what happened in between the sessions.)

• notes after therapy (“homework”, advice that stuck with me, reminders I want to give myself, whatever enlightenment I felt during the therapy session)

• a run-down of what I feel and what is realistically the truth of a situation, whenever I feel anxious and like doing something impulsively

• my favourite memories

• my favourite compliments

• my favourite dialogues

• a list of reasons I felt sad and a list of reasons I felt happy so that in the future, when I feel sad, I know just what to do to make myself feel better